i'm losing my mind again. i cant think properly. sometimes suicide even comes to my mind. other days, i just feel like running away. i just cant sit in the office doing nothing. most of the time i've to wait for her to come into the office to settle all my work. and she's hardly in office nowadays. i kmow its for a serious matter but i just cant take it. why am i stuck here? why must i be tortured here? jobs are difficult to find in this bad state of economy. nowadays i find it hard to sleep at night. i hate my life. i hate staying here. i hate the people here. i hate everything in my life now.

tigger's got a job interview for internship in singapore. if he really get the job, it'll be worst for me. that time i think i'll just give up on life. however i cant ask him to stay here for the sake of me. i've to let him go for his own future. and when its time, only then will i know what to do.